My blog post ideas usually hit me on the head when I’m struggling.
Today’s struggle was getting my kids out the door and to their school. This seems relatively straightforward in theory, and I’ve even developed a checklist for each of my kids to complete in the morning. It’s on the fridge. Here is the list:
- wake up – 7:30 am
- get dressed
- eat breakfast
- put dishes in the dishwasher
- brush hair
- brush teeth
- put lunch in your bag
- put your water bottle in your bag
- put coat on
- put shoes on – 8:30 am
I look at that list and think – “we could be out the door in twenty minutes!”
Yet this morning, despite getting up at 6 am, we were still not ready at 8:30 am. In fact, at 8:30 am, I thought, “Are the cops about to knock on the door because my neighbours have called about a potential domestic situation in our house?”
What had gone wrong? Why didn’t my list work? Why hadn’t we gotten to school with success today?
Nothing was wrong with my list. My kids had followed the list, and they are very good at following the list, but there is something major missing from my list.
Then I started thinking about the parallels between my work at home (getting up, getting ready, getting places on time) and my work with clients (which starts with my client filling out a spending plan template and listing property and debt).
My work at home and my client work seem to have very concrete, achievable outcomes, such as being at your desk at school at 9 am and completing a filling in some amounts on a template.
On the surface, both types of work seem straightforward and easy.
I’ve got the “get to school checklist” and “my spending plan template.” Both, in theory, take a set amount of time to complete.
But I am finding that this work is just not taking the amount of time I think it will. Â It is taking a lot longer. Plus, there appears to be angst when getting out the door and completing spending plan templates.
Because the real work is not completing the items on the checklist or filling out my spending plan template.
What is the real work?
Well, the work involved in getting my kids to school appears to be keeping my children separate from each other so that they don’t try to kill each other. So this morning, I was thinking up strategies (kids eating in different rooms, kids wearing blindfolds with me escorting them from room to room). But no, no – again, that is not the work.
The work is figuring out what is going on underneath the surface with my kids, which is leading them to find new and ingenious ways to torture each other (both psychologically and physically).
That is the work I need to do with my kids, and I tend to avoid it. It is hard. It involves communicating with their dad and figuring out times to discuss things as a family. It involves communication with grandparents to help them understand that the discipline that worked for their children does not seem to work for my kids. It involves research, time, and being open to new ways of doing things. It requires enormous effort, time and commitment. Why can’t we follow the checklist (oh why, oh why, oh why)?
Because the checklist does not solve the underlying emotional, relational and communication issues that my family appears to be having.
This leads me to my spending plan template.
If you are working on a spending plan, you are likely at a point of transition and need help figuring out where you are financially to make decisions.
Filling in the template will take about two to three hours. Two hours to gather information and one hour to input the information.
“Oh – that’s easy!”
And yes – it is easy.
But as my kids have thoughtfully demonstrated to me this morning, it is only easy on the surface.
If you are at a point of transition where you require my help, I will ask you something. What is going on with you that will extend the time spent on this spending plan process? And then, I will challenge you to do the work to deal with that before you get to the fun part of filling out the spending plan template.
Why?
Because I want the work I do for you to be successful, I can review your spending plan with you (it’s quick), but there is no point in doing this work if it doesn’t get rid of the angst in your life.
This leads me to my new spiel when describing how long a new job will take.
“This will take three hours if I work in a complete vacuum from the moment I get the information I requested from you.”
” But because working in a vacuum is not reality, it could take anywhere from three hours to never being finished. We will figure it out as we go along, and I will keep you updated as best as I can.”
